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23a:Department of Dwarven Veteran's Affairs

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Fortress/Royal Guard
Room requirements  
Office None
Quarters None
Dining room None
Tomb None
Furniture requirements
Chests None
Cabinets None
Weapon racks None
Armor stands None
Other
Mandates None
Demands None
Arrival conditions
Function
  • Assist the Sheriff
  • Dupe nobles into thinking they safe here and not 2" away from dying
  • Killing Child snatchers
  • Living off the government
  • Sparring practice
  • Retirement for mangled champions, to stop death-by-tantrum

The Department of Dwarven Veteran's Affairs (also known as the Fortress/Royal Guard), is an organisation dedicated to helping those brave dwarves that have become injured to the point of combat ineffectiveness, and are also relatively unskilled (so putting them into the Craftsdwarf's workshop to make +goblin bone bolts+ until the end of time is out of the question). They are usually relieved of promoted up from their military duties due to some snooty noble turning up and wanting to be all protected (until, of course, said noble makes one-too-many demands and find themselves in the dwarven departure lounge).

These dwarves who have sustained their injuries in whatever way, whether through physical combat, creative excavation, sparring matches, goblin snipers, hippies, wildlife, or otherwise, may be promoted through the military menu.

The fortress guard itself doesn't do much, apart from telling the various nobles that they are not in danger of assassination, assisting the Sheriff (now Captain of the Guard) in abusing citizens' rights, and spending all their spare time brawling. The sparring can be a problem, in that some dwarf who may have otherwise made a speedy recovery (you know the ones) manages to train himself up to an elite level, which prohibits his removal from the payrolls of DDVA. Thus, active dwarves that can spend their time better pulling levers are now only assisting with some engraver who is too busy smashing something other than a bridge over a chasm.

The Royal guard similarly has few real responsibilities - while their official function is to assure the tax collector that the citizens won't lynch him (and also to claim some "taxes" for themselves in the process), they spend most of their time sparring with the Fortress guards.

See also[edit]